I am not sure on some of those questions of what my answer would be but on the other hand I know the will to live is strong in each and every one of us and knowing that I am a fighter, I might not like the choices that are given but I would make a choice if need be.
How do you make those kind of decisions? I know I would talk to my healthcare team, and I would look at what the options and outcomes might be and I would talk to others that faced the same decisions be it in a support group or somewhere else and I know that I would do alot of praying and listening for guidance. I have already made some other decisions for my life if I am at the end of my life and my family is fully aware of those types of decisions and I have paperwork to support that. None of this is easy to discuss or even think about let alone talk about to your love ones. I think we are all so very busy that often we don't see or listen to the guidance that is out there. Remember the day that you didn't like what your mom and dad had to say so you went to your grandparents for their input and guidance. It was not necessarily always the same advice but it always gave you food for thought. Unfortunately in this day and age, families live far removed from those extended family members and when both sides could benefit from being close to each other, we are miles away and it is difficult to maintain that close community due to distance and different life styles. Years ago, I would sit on my grandmother's bed every night before I went to bed and we would talk and she would scratch my back even when I was all but heading out to college, we had that quiet time that I could discuss things with her and gain her insight. Unfortunately, I lost her shortly thereafter. My parents continued to guide me for years although I had reached adulthood, I knew I could go to them with anything and even some things I didn't want to but I needed their unconditional love and unbiased input and then they were gone too. In this day and age with so much time invested in work and outside activities, we don't often sit on the porch or by the bed and talk to those that have and always will be there for you. I recently talked with a family member whose significant other was facing some tough decisions and one insight I gained was that the support we used to get from our extended families has changed and texting or skyping doesn't help to narrow that bridge. I have heard too many times, my kids are just not committed to family life like we were and that they are just too busy with their own lives. I am not sure that this has improved where we are in life or given comfort or help with loving choices when we so desperately need family input. I wonder given that distance and separation from family that when we are facing the big life decisions that due to lack of connection, maybe we are making totally different decisions because of this loss of family ties. I know I have often said I have lived for my family and now that they have their own lives and are so very far away, that holidays and vacations and such become more difficult and that where there were once a houseful of kids, can become awfully quiet while waiting for that phone call on a birthday or holiday. There are choices for each of us, some big and some small and input comes from many sources. Take the time to listen and look for the signs that have been put before you and that we often miss or ignore. Maybe I can become someone else's surrogate family when they face those choices! Reach out and listen