I love that... how many times have we felt we were coping with a certain illness/ issue in our lives and that our coping brought us just to an acceptance without any effort on our parts to make efforts to bring around change. So many of us look at a majic pill to loose weight, a majic new type of equipment to get us and keep us exercising, an answer that is readily simple without accepting that actually doing any work to affect some change. I find people that put on a brave front and are smiling and joking around but it is alot like paint on a car, covering the rust underneath that keeps eating away at the main structure. Sorting this all out to find a path of comfort is not easy. Often, I see people leaving with an overload of information and heading home to make decisions that seems beyond their capabilities. I remember those words to me a few years back , "go home and decide if you want a lumpectomy or a mastectomy." Really, my choice? I choose none of the above! Patients do want to take part in their care and often start researching on the internet to find an overabundance of material that one article may slant one way , and another -another way. I often warn to stay off the internet or better yet go to only well known, reputable sites. Know that you are an important part of your health team, know your other members and take a book, write down your questions ahead of time and fill in the answers. Also know who to listen to and who not to listen to. Everyone has their story and you can actually listen to too many people and the waters get even muddier. It is like childbirth, everyone has their story and viewpoint and they are all different which doesn't make it all right or all wrong. Filter your information as you need it. The hard part is maintaining a healthy balance for you between what is real and what is cautious optimism and remember hopeless accepatnce is not a form of coping. Take notes, ask for book recommendations, and remember that the web is not always a trustworthy source as it is educational or commercial and are the links appropriate to the site. Keeping track of what you need and want to know is a positive measure to coping. Listen to what is being said. Have a family member go with you to take notes so that you can focus on entirely what is being said. I often sit in and take notes so that families can listen and then they will have a written copy to review after they get home and think about the appointment they just left. Coping is not just living with a problem whether you like it of not but it does mean managing the problem and finding ways to take control of it. You have the control in how to react and live with cancer just as you can Make it a good day! S
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMy name is Sue Kilburn and I am a clinical nurse breast cancer educator at the Yolanda G. Barco Oncology Institute in Meadville, Pennsylvania. Archives
March 2015
Categories |