Sincerely, quite happy....
|SUE - a breast cancer survivor||
It is amazing how many people ask what they can do for you during treatment and the bottom line, anything helps. Maybe it is picking up stamps or food or cooking a small meal or running a small load of wash or changing sheets on the bed. All easy physical tasks that can seem insurmountable when you are not feeling 100% but the biggest thing that I really do remember is just asking you to be there for me. That doesn't mean endless chatter on your part to fill the silence but just be beside me, listen to me, wait for me and support me. A touch on the hand, a warm blanket, a refill of my water, anything that makes a person more comfortable. Fluffing the pillow, pottying the dog, water the flowers- all those things you see that need done but don't have the energy to do . It can be a lonesome and quiet time and just to have someone willing to listen is important. Oh yes, we all know that there may be someone out there worse off than me at this very moment or you can tell me how to fix my situation but that is not what is needed. I often would tell my husband, yes I am fortunate I don't have two broken legs but the one that is broke still hurts. So yes, I am better off than some but I am still dealing with issues and concerns and I don't want you telling me to ignore it, just smile about it, it will get better or any other trite saying that might put me off the roof. JUST LISTEN, acknowledge, and reserve comment for when it is solicited and then carefully reword what you have been hearing as that is what is really needed, reinforcement that you have heard what I have said. Isn't that what we all really need? Confirmation that I am here, I am being heard and understood and that you had a part by listening. Someone recently told me I should just do speaking on STRAIGHT TALK. They felt that I could bring something to the table because of all my experiences. I have done alot and gone through more but that doesn't make me an expert or that I have the answers but having a positive attitude and making every effort to make it a great day is vital. Life is too short to be miserable all the time and those people will suck the life blood out of you and I am not saying that somedays I just am not on my A game but for the most part, I kick myself and get back in the game and give it all the gusto I have. I don't need or want negativity and I sure as heck need laughter. So my advice, take the time to listen, smile, and support in any way you can and if the negativity of an individual continually drags you down, try to be supportive but then move on. In other words, quit feeding that negativity and replace it with your smile and love. We are all here doing the best we can and I am hoping that my straight talk just may have found a spot on your heart or made a little more sense now that you thought about it.
Sincerely, quite happy....