So what is the answer, there isn't one good one because each and every person is invested in what is currently happening and emotions run deep. I have seen healthcare professionals as well as families deeply saddened by the news that things are not progressing as hoped. There are also times that patients do not want to consider what the healthcare recommends and decides to determine their own plan. What do you do? My take is that you talk, you talk it out on all sides and give information that is factual and also look at what the patient is bringing to the table. How is their mental status at this point, are they depressed? Does the person actually understand what is being relayed as well as what the family thinks? Are they hearing what is being said?
Recently someone asked why information about clinical trials isn't routinely discussed? To be honest it is but the wealth of information that is coming at you at anytime is hard to grasp and once you hear cancer, your thought process is out in left field. We try to answer questions and not overwhelm the patient with information that is not needed at the current time. We also know that something that was once not considered may now be a part of the treatment regimen and things change.
So my thoughts are: get your healthcare team together, bring your family on scene, have someone ready with questions and someone willing to write down the answers and talk, on all sides talk and know that you can revisit this at anytime. This is your personal walk and we need to understand your needs and wants including the right to refuse treatment.
My husband just recently mentioned to me that I really probably only had 15 good years because of my mother and father's age when they died and causes and tha the had 20 to 25 since his mom died at 88 and his dad is now 88. Needless to say, that didn't go down to well but with further communication, his intent was that we need to enjoy life now, every minute because we don't know what tomorrow will bring. Some people say that they will never do this or that when it comes to their health but when faced with the issues personally, their insight changes drastically and one day all of us face some of these types of difficult decisions. With a team involved and family as well, hopefully we can avoid further difficulties by bridging the gap with the information that is needed at that time.
Hope you have a great day! S