My son, ( the one home from Italy and heading to Idaho soon) told me his favorite saying and I can't remember who he quoted but it went something like this and that is: I may not be right all the time but I am not wrong all the time. That reminds me of Captain Penny when years ago his motto was something to the effect: you can fool some of the people some of the time and all of the people some of the time but you can't fool mom. Although these sound somewhat different, they are very similar.I look over my childhood memories and see such a different way of growing up and what the expectations were and the ramifications if you did not meet those expectations. Then I look at my two oldest son's and realize that they got more of that upbringing that came from the philosophies passed down by my parents. As we added to our family and I remarried, the rest of the kids were raised by a different standard, although my thoughts and philosophies had not changed too much, there were now two governing bodies with different upbringings and ideas. I am a straight shooter, I follow the rules and I wouldn't dare to bend them. My husband, although very much a straight shooter is more than willing to bend the rules which I have learned over the years much to my consternation. It usually makes me end up looking like the bad guy, the hard one. I have found that difficult at times as to do differently would totally compromise my ideals. There are little things that I have let go and grown with. It used to be you only went to church in dresses, now I do wear pants but a recent issue came up that my 20 year old son wanted to wear shorts and flip flops to church. I know God loves him no matter what but his manner of dress seems disrespectful to me in so many levels and we have compromised our ideals so many different ways in today's society that there are no rights or wrongs and everyone gets to do what they want when the feel like it. He is a great young man with still lots of growing to do but just feel that even out of respect for his parents wishes and for the respect of the church that he could compromise and I even offered to buy him khaki's to wear but he chose not to go to church because of this. Now I am not right all the time and I am also not wrong all the time, nor is it about fooling anyone and this ended in a stalemate. Cancer treatment doesn't always have one direct path, there are different avenues and different conventions. What one doctor thinks is the only answer, I guarantee you will find someone else with entrenched views of a different nature. How do you take the right path? I don't have the answers except prayer, knowledge, and support. Know your direction and the path you chose and sometimes you may be wrong but sometimes you may be right. Be open to listen and learn and look to those that have experience, compassion, and understanding. There are standards we all have to meet in every walk of life and in every aspect of life-socially, physically, financially, and more. Take time to think and remember and use your knowledge to make it a good day. S
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AuthorMy name is Sue Kilburn and I am a clinical nurse breast cancer educator at the Yolanda G. Barco Oncology Institute in Meadville, Pennsylvania. Archives
March 2015
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