I did look back at my life many times and wonder if it was the self induced stress, my diet, my activity level and more. Did this contribute to my getting breast cancer. I haven't been a perfect health conscious person in every aspect. So it figures that I set myself up, right? I never asked why, it was more why not. I look at others that are dealing with it and in my mind, wondered if they had similar thoughts. We don't verbalize the fact that sometimes we wonder if we just aren't good enough. Now we do know people that have genetic issues that explains it for them but what about the ones that do all the right things, have not genetic precursers and they still the disease? What does that have to say about it all?
How many of you have wondered similar things? Did you think it was your fault? Is it a form of punishment? Really, stop and think about it and then journal it. It gives you a better perspective of hearing your thoughts and then realizing that your thinking inside does not always match what you are saying on the outside or what is actually true and accurate.
You often hear that getting old is not for the weary, well neither is an illness such as cancer. The blame game serves no purpose and if you need to hear from someone outside of yourself, I am telling you. Crap happens and it just ending up happening at this time for you. You didn't ask for it, nor did you want it. You don't need it to get your priorities straight.
What you need is love, support , and comfort. Look for the positive in your life and in people around you. There is always someone that wants to make their horror story bigger than another, but this is your game and you play it however it works best for you. None of this is easy and it may take a long time to learn how to pick yourself up and carry on with whatever you are going through but it is important that you go through it and not get stagnant in the water you are currently standing in. Work at caring for yourself and be strong enough to stop the negativity from outside and within. It will be a better day! S