Now, I again feel the frustration of lack of communication and as a mother and a nurse, I feel that my coping would be so much better if the truth was brought out and not avoided or construed and only certain members can get the whole scoop. I am and always will be totally devoted to my family and would drop anything on a moments notice if they need me in any capacity. Avoiding and ignoring or selective random information is more devastating than the truth. Yes, I will worry no matter what, what mom doesn't? I guarantee I can think of more alternatives and outcomes than you can imagine and somehow I am also unable to shut down that mother/nurse thing. Inquisitive minds need to know! I have loved, held, cleaned up, held up, and provided love and security and compassion and will always do so no matter how old any of us get. Caregivers come in all different sizes and shapes and different capacities. As I recently told one friend going through bladder cancer treatment, allow others to help as that is more satisfying and fullfilling that shutting them out, and you do need the help. So with these random thoughts, I hope you have heard that communication is vital and no one person should or could stand alone through the trials and tribulations of life including health, and family. I will be here always for whatever you need, I am a friend, a nurse, and a mother.