For families and friends that are trying to shore up the holes for the patient that has a recurrence, it is hard as well. What do you say at that time when they say, it is back? I don't have a tried and true answer but I do feel if you are honest and humble and express your concern, care, and support - that is the best you can do! Reinforcing that you will be with them is also very helpful but only if you follow through. As I look at the week in the review maybe I need a bigger rear view mirror and look at the years since my cancer in review. What did I learn, what can I do for others and how do I handle each day that lies before me. People can and will say stupid things and not intentionally. When a person is so uncomfortable in any given situation, who knows what will come out of their mouth albeit well intentioned. Sometimes the patient has to understand the intention and put on their suit of armor and carry on. One well intentioned person looked at me with the saddest eyes and professed how truly sorry they were and in that moment, it caught me just the wrong way and I actually looked at them and said, I am not dying, please! In review, it may have not been my finest moment but I also knew that I had told them I need support and not sympathy.
So, take a moment and review your week and see where you are standing and where others are and