Years ago though, I was in such a hurry to grow up, go to school , get married and have babies and get them grown and have my own career and the life that we all want. It seems like a blink of an eye since the kids were small and this time now is even more difficult than when they were little and needing my full attention. I have learned that it is ok if my kids don't always like me, I don't always like them. It is ok to cry at movies and with a friend who is at the end of life. It is more than ok to reach out and ask for help and share those parts that need to be opened up and let the light in. Each day is a new day and a new chance to do better. I am not perfect now nor have I ever been but I struggle as you do in probably many similar ways. My clarity comes from all my life experience and my journey with cancer. I don't just say, " Make it a good day", I live, eat and breathe it. Sometimes I fall short of my goal, but I have tomorrow. Since I am being so dang philosophical at this point, I will add a quote that I love to share.
It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth---and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up---that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD