Looking back at what transpired from the time of diagnosis till the time of treatment, I am not sure that my husband had much input into what was about to transpire. Now, I do realize that sounds awful but in part, he deferred to me because I am a nurse. I can't say I didn't take into consideration his opinion but I was too busy listening to doctors and nurses and patients that had traveled the road before me. Honestly, there were times even being a nurse didn't help as I walked out from another doctor's office and my husband would ask, what did that all mean and I would say, I really don't know, once the word breast cancer came out and surgery and treatment, my mind shut off. Did I actually make decisions without him, the answer is no! Having said that though, I can remember asking my medical oncologist, what would you do if I was your wife? Now that I work with cancer patients, I hear the same questions posed that I did including, if I was your wife..... My first decision was that I was going to do whatever it took to lick this thing and pray it never comes back again. I heard the risks and benefits and the prognosis and long term outcome and I knew I was on board for whatever it took to keep me going. I didn't need to make the decision of lumpectomy vs mastectomy although it was discussed, but hearing the outcomes were pretty much equal, I decided on lumpectomy. I was totally supported on this decision by my healthcare team and also with discussion, my husband once he realized that it was equal in my circumstance. I also believe that my perspective was different than my husband and I find that in many circumstances. His choice was to be there by my side with whatever path we chose. I didn't actually canvas my kids just because with five kids, I am sure that they were going to defer to me because of my medical background. The decision about reconstruction at the time of the original surgery, must be an agonizing one for patients especially when they hear the time involved in surgery and the follow up. My perspective was that just get the as needed basics done and worry about the rest later, which I later found out that I had done a disservice to myself. Years later, it surfaced at getaway weekend with other women that had breast cancer, that I realized this was an open wound that hadn''t healed and that I needed to address. Fortunately, I had a surgeon that told me it wasn't vain to want my body corrected. His explanation was that my body was like a car wreck that I looked at everyday but if fixed you could get back to driving it and in the long run, the outward appearance could lend itself back to almost normal. Now, my husband said he would love me no matter what but for me, I needed to put closure to this experience and so I had it corrected. My husband asks my opinion if he is getting a new tractor or car and then since he is more informed than me on these issues, he goes and gets what he decided on. I think that I did the same and as they say, all
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMy name is Sue Kilburn and I am a clinical nurse breast cancer educator at the Yolanda G. Barco Oncology Institute in Meadville, Pennsylvania. Archives
March 2015
Categories |