SUE - a breast cancer survivor
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  • 31 stories for 31 days
    • Day 1: I got the news >
      • Day 2: Those crazy 4 men
      • Day 3: Chemo: What a wonderful time of the year
      • Day 4: Bald
      • Day 5: Seroma, hematoma, fudgicles...I am swollen!
      • Day 6: I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
    • Day 7: Weary and tired! >
      • Day 8: Where did my dreams go and did they get lost in Cancer?
      • Day 9: Germany
      • Day 10: Diversion
      • Day 11: Duke
      • Day 12: Did I ever tell you waiting rooms suck?
      • Day 13: Did I ever tell you my dad died of CA?
    • Day 14: My best friend’s sister >
      • Day 15: Graduation
      • Day 16: Book club
      • Day 17: Surgery
      • Day 18: What is it about Pittsburgh….?
      • Day 19: Radiation
    • Day 20: Now that the treatment is over >
      • Day 21: Toby,
      • Day 22: Reconstruction or not
      • Day 23: Prosthesis or not?
      • Day 24: Recurrence
      • Day 25: Nothing Special
    • Day 26: What have I learned? >
      • Day 27: Impact- Activist
      • Day 28: New Position
      • Day 29: Life will never feel or look the same.
      • Day 30: Reflections
      • Day 31: I'm here to help
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Day 29: Life will never be the same

I often talk to patients that have cancer at various stages: just diagnosed, in the midst of treatment, returning for follow-up, recurrence.  There is an overriding theme for all of us.
The journey is never over!  
Today is good and I take each moment... but how to deal with the unknown.
Life is for living but is also for dying. The gift is how we use it.  
I see people that face diversity with such fortitude and determination and with such grace. Then I see others that fall to the sidelines and let the cancer take over and dominate each moment.
Do I have a key on what or how or who?
NO, not me.
Today I deal with the good and the bad that life deals us.  I have lost many family members in my lifetime and quite a few to cancer  and had much diversity as well, but I have also seen many births and marriages and anniversaries and new beginnings.  
Have you ever really noticed when someone asks you how you are today, that they really aren’t listening and really don’t want to know?
I sometimes interject some crazy response as much to see the outcome as to get a laugh. I am merciless to telemarketers and taunt them with, ‘once I get out of bankruptcy I would like to order a million,’ or ‘I am sorry she died last week,’ or just leaving the phone off the hook and saying ‘I will go get them.’   
I regret that I don’t often take the time to listen to that still small voice but when I am in need, I will talk and pray endlessly.  
I have grown ever increasingly frustrated by politics and attitudes and community and feel overwhelmed with where our country is at this point in time in all venues.  
For me, I can only work on my corner of the world and my world has changed.  
I still get stressed, I still like chocolate, I still treasure family and friends, I still laugh a lot and I still don’t sleep well but I do reflect and readjust and reaffirm that each day is mine to do with it what I can and will.  
Hot flashes may come and go, gravity is doing its best, the crow’s feet have become a flock and cellulite has overcome and won.... but this is me, inside out and outside in and out and I am in a darn good spot in my life.
Even though things have changed, I am the best that I can be, today.
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