Support is something everyone seems to steer clear of but this is a time that it helps to talk to someone outside the family and find a group that may very well have faced the same difficulties as you are as a caregiver and they understand or even a one to one with someone you trust and care about. In order for you to stay healthy and strong you need to fill your vessel as well as be a caretaker for the person you love. You will do a much better job if you do and you will feel better about yourself as well. This is a win/win. Running on empty does not help anyone! Make it a great day! S
I talk so often to the patient that I often forget about the support system behind the patient and disease and there are many more of you out there that are caregivers to the caregivers. First and foremost, be kind to yourself. You cannot be your best if you have given everything you have got to give because empty just doesn't equal happy or content or fulfilled by the patient or the caregiver. As a new mother, you give everything to your new baby and your husband can sometimes feel like he has been lost in the wind and then you find yourself daydreaming cutting his meat while making babyfaces to your child. What happened to the you that you once were? You need to reach out to those friends that are still standing by you and let them in. Some of your well meaning friends have run in the opposite direction for whatever reasons as well and you just let that go and move on. Look to those people that make you feel loved and accepted and you feel their warmth and care and let them help. Do your windows need washed? Probably but not necessarily today... there are other things that can wait as you cannot continue doing everything you did before and with the added responsibility of being a caregiver. Then you sit and wonder why you are tired and you can't focus on anything and you could care less about what to cook or eat or when the dogs got fed last. Juggling is your new mantra and you are just going to have to let some things go, it will be there when you are ready to get back to it, I guarantee it. Now again, caregivers- don't be so stubborn or working on becoming a martyr... let others help and ask them to. They may not do it just exactly as you do it but it does get done and it is alright for now. Perfection is not the answer unless you are Martha Stewart. Let go of some of that control and renew you . Look for fun or make some fun! Seems strange during such a difficult time but laughter is the best medicine even when facing great difficulties.
Support is something everyone seems to steer clear of but this is a time that it helps to talk to someone outside the family and find a group that may very well have faced the same difficulties as you are as a caregiver and they understand or even a one to one with someone you trust and care about. In order for you to stay healthy and strong you need to fill your vessel as well as be a caretaker for the person you love. You will do a much better job if you do and you will feel better about yourself as well. This is a win/win. Running on empty does not help anyone! Make it a great day! S
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AuthorMy name is Sue Kilburn and I am a clinical nurse breast cancer educator at the Yolanda G. Barco Oncology Institute in Meadville, Pennsylvania. Archives
March 2015
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