I am sure I do the same mothering to my patients as well. I listen and comfort and often we laugh and I cry as well. It is most difficult when someone gets disappointing news and has new challenges to tackle. There is no magic wand and no words that can soothe at a time like this. Hugs, yes, listening too! I hurt when my patients hurt and reaching out to comfort is all I can do, it is up the treatment, surgery and whatever other interventions that leaves my role to being a supportive person. I can't fix things like I used to do with my kids, by painting a smiley face on their bandage or making them a special sandwich. I hate to see my kids struggle with things in their life and sometimes I wish I could take their burden but know that is something I can only listen and help them go through. Those times make the mother in me and the nurse in me feel less than adequate because I don't have all the answers. What I can offer is my support and faith,to hold on to hope that tomorrow will be better and that I will stand by you through those tough times. Know that whatever happens, try to make it a better day for yourself and someone else is all that truly matters. S
By now, you all know I have 5 grown children and grandchildren too as well as grand-dogs and recently all were together for a week of fun at what we call Grandma camp. Everyone but one spouse was there and it was probably the first they had all been together for 5 or 6 years. It was exciting, fun, challenging, and exhausting but I would do it all again tomorrow. As a mother and a nurse I know that I am just a caregiver inside and out. I extended my mothering over the weekend to a lovely extended family of Amish that I have gotten to know and we had a marvelous time. I was just a bit more nervous and keeping and eye on all the kids was like checking a bus to see everyone is on board, counting : 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17 and repeat. It was such a joy to have kids and family around albeit a substitute for my own. I wanted to make sure everyone was comfortable and everyone had a good time.
I am sure I do the same mothering to my patients as well. I listen and comfort and often we laugh and I cry as well. It is most difficult when someone gets disappointing news and has new challenges to tackle. There is no magic wand and no words that can soothe at a time like this. Hugs, yes, listening too! I hurt when my patients hurt and reaching out to comfort is all I can do, it is up the treatment, surgery and whatever other interventions that leaves my role to being a supportive person. I can't fix things like I used to do with my kids, by painting a smiley face on their bandage or making them a special sandwich. I hate to see my kids struggle with things in their life and sometimes I wish I could take their burden but know that is something I can only listen and help them go through. Those times make the mother in me and the nurse in me feel less than adequate because I don't have all the answers. What I can offer is my support and faith,to hold on to hope that tomorrow will be better and that I will stand by you through those tough times. Know that whatever happens, try to make it a better day for yourself and someone else is all that truly matters. S
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AuthorMy name is Sue Kilburn and I am a clinical nurse breast cancer educator at the Yolanda G. Barco Oncology Institute in Meadville, Pennsylvania. Archives
March 2015
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