Many people carry their scars so no one can see and move through life with choosing to hide those scares so as to avoid the constant reminder of where they have been. Others decide to share their scars in hopes that they can be a beacon for others. I am alive, there are scars that remain but I move forward each day and work towards the mantra ,"Make it a great day". Yes, my body is not the same, nor is my mind. I hate when I struggle for a word and wonder if it is chemo brain or alzheimers or just old age, I have experienced menopause because of surgery and also chemically due to medications, I deal with the fear of recurrence when it hits me in the face which includes when it is time to test again or when I see someone that has had a recurrence themselves. I don't feel survivor's guilt but I do feel great empathy for those that are back on the treadmill of cancer.
I try to chose a healthier lifestyle although it does not keep me from having a glass of wine. In all honesty, I could count on one hand the amount of drinks I would have in a year, now I have decided that if I want a glass, I have one. Now that may sound like a risk but it is not the same as driving without a seatbelt. I have learned to enjoy life more and treasure the moments and look for opportunities to appreciate what I have been blessed with in my life. There is much to be gained by having a positive outlook and each day starting anew. Phone calls, hugs, a card, text, email...staying in touch and reaching out to others- Makes it a great day! S